Photo courtesy of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Helicopter_WikiWorld.png
First and Foremost I am a Mom, ALWAYS. Yup, I like to drink wine ( vodka too ) and complain about the shackles of parenthood as much as the next stressed out Mom, but the reality of it all is, I am a Mom, it is what I do.
So no matter what I read, hear from the Mom masses, or what all of the Mom bloggers tell me, I am a good Mom. I do my very best every day.
Hey, we all know being a Mom isn't easy, right? Of course we do! We are Moms!
So here is what spurred my rant!
Just the other day, I was reading a Mom blog, (yes, I know, I am a hypocrite) and I came across this ... 10 Ways to be the best Helicopter Parent. Sorry, but what the fuck is a Helicopter Parent? I am not kidding; I, really, had no clue. I thought about googling it, but my kid had basketball practice.
While at basketball practice, pretending to watch my daughter shoot hoops ( I see you on your phone too, don't judge so harshly). I found myself very curious as to all these new parenting terms, and why the hell did I not know about them, was I doing something wrong?
I googled (no word of a lie) 2015 Parenting Practices. I was dumbfounded. What! Had I been in some, sort of, a parenting bubble, for five years or more? Clearly I am out of the Loop on this shit. Can't we just be, um, I dunno, parents?
What is happening to us? When the hell did we decide we had to label the way we parent? *Losing my Mind* as I read these, New World parenting terms, I thought about changing the name of my website! Hell, I am no, New World Mom, all of this is gibberish to me.
OK, so I am now in the midst of this truly informative blog post at She Speaks
and my daughter runs up to me and says "Did you see that?". I clearly did not. I was trying to find out what type of parent I was. I, then, do my very best Mom lie and say "yes, it was amazing." She smirks at me and goes back to practice.
That is when, I realize, I do not fit into any mold what so ever. I am not a Helicopter Parent, Instinctive Parent, Attachment Parent, Authoritative Parent, or Permissive Parent. I am a Parent, I am a Mom, I fuck up, just like you. I don't see every shot at the net, but I see the ones that count.
I am not fit to be labelled.
I couldn't get her off my mind, long after the phone conversation asking me to be on alert; he was at it again.
My eyes, feeling dull and my temples pounding. I was feeling a hate for him that I couldn't keep in check, my anger fueling into Rage.
I don't want her to hurt anymore, and he is the only reason. She can't see it. He has turned her into someone else. I am afraid of losing her. He isn't worth all of this; she can't see it! My mind flooded with thoughts of what may be happening to her, I pick up the phone and call her again. Nothing .... I text ... Nothing.
Hours pass, and I still hear nothing, the silence is deafening, but I can't go help, I have no way of getting there, R has the car. My guilt is overwhelming; I call again ... Nothing.
Tonight I am so scared I am going to lose my friend forever!
You see, my friend is in an abusive relationship, and these are just snippets of what go through my mind after I get a phone call from her. The abuse hasn't entirely been physical, but all the signs are there. It is one of the most helpless feelings I have ever had in the entirety of my life.
Recently she wrote a letter to "The next girl" and sent it to me. Asking me to publish it, but my heart was breaking, I didn't know how I could ever put this letter into context. Then tonight happened.
Her voice must be heard, if not to deter women from these types of men. Then to educate them and not let them feel alone.
Her letter to The Next Girl.
Open letter to the next girl:
First of all, you need to know it’s not your fault. Now, I’m not giving you a free pass here. You have issues you need to address. There was a reason he chose you, and you will be selected by the next if you don’t deal with it. What I am saying is what he is doing to you is wrong, and you need to see that.
I know it started out well. He was so sweet and told you all the things you always wanted to hear. You never got to see that side of him until you had fallen in love. I understand, but you need to pay attention now before it gets worse if it hasn't already. And it will get worse.
At first you don’t even notice that he doesn't seem to have any empathy. You are too busy soaking up the compliments and trying to help him fix all the things you think he has so bravely shared with you. He's not brave. He’s setting you up. He’s telling you that he’s never shared this with anyone before. Don’t believe it. He “shared” it with me. And the girl before me. And yes, the girl before her. And I’m sure it goes back further.
He will tell you I am bitter, and I suppose I am. He’ll find you amazingly soon after he cut me out and say that it wasn’t until you that he realized he never loved her. He’ll tell you he’s never fallen in love so quickly, and he just can’t help himself. Trust me. He doesn't know what love is. He isn't capable of it.
He is a pathological narcissist. That sounds harsh, right? We all toss the word narcissist around a lot. But look up that actual diagnosis. Make the connections between the things you've experienced and what they are telling you. I know you don’t want to, but you have to. Scared yet? You should be.
I promise you as soon as I become aware of you I’ll try to tell you. If you’re anything like me, you won’t be ready to hear it. But I know the day will come when you will start to see what’s happening, and you’ll need confirmation that you aren’t crazy. I promise to give that to you.
Don’t believe him when he says he didn’t mean to hurt you physically or otherwise. It’s not true. He knows, exactly, what he is doing, and there is a long trail of destruction behind him. It’s part of his game. He needs to see how much you will take before you start to draw boundaries. Once you begin to draw boundaries, he will back off a bit, but only if you tell him how much you appreciate the efforts he is making. Look closely at that for what it is. YOU ARE THANKING HIM FOR NOT HURTING YOU. Or in some cases, for not hurting you as much as he did before. He wants praise. He needs it. He craves it and deep down you know if you don’t give it to him he will go find it elsewhere. And you aren't ready to give up those good feelings no matter how sporadic they are becoming. I get it. But to others it is incomprehensible.
And they will leave. Be ready. They won’t understand why you are putting up with things, and they will get tired of hearing it. You will become more and more alone. Sorry honey, this is a part of his plan. The fewer people there are around you, the less interference he will have to deal with. Be honest. He’s already made you cut people out of your life because "in some way they hurt him”, right? It’s all part of his process.
A few brave souls will tell you to leave. They will point out the way you never smile anymore, how you never laugh or go out. But you know that they don’t understand. That they don’t know what he’s gone through and if you can just get him through it, things will be incredible, and your life will go back to normal with him by your side. After all, he would do anything for you. He told you so.
But what has he done for you? He compliments you, of course. But has he ever truly showed concerns for your needs? I hate to be the one to tell you, he won’t. I know this because he can’t. He isn't capable of it beyond acting the part, and that won’t last long because it doesn't serve him.
You need to leave. You need to run as far away as you can and never look back. I know this hurt. You want to help him. Here is your lesson. You can’t. It’s a sad fact of life and one that's hard to accept, but you didn’t fail. It just wasn't possible. It may never be but trust me when I say you will lose everything trying.
So now you need to go get help. Seek therapy. Call those friends and family members that left. Most will still be there, I promise. And go ahead. Call me. It won’t be an easy conversation for either of us, and the realities will slam us both. But there is healing in it. And we all need to heal.
Words that Inspire, Catch fire.#1000Speak
became a spirited fire of words on February 20th/2015, taking on a life of its own. Burning through negativity, judgment and hate as bloggers from all over the world wrote about Compassion. Each new post stoked the fire, quickly making it an inferno. I could feel the intense heat, each moment I read another post making it clear to me, this will be a force. These blazing words have created an Inspirational Fire of Compassion.
Photo courtesy of http://theqwietmuse.com/
I have only been blogging a short while, to be honest, had been feeling a little overwhelmed by it. I wasn't fitting in anywhere and found myself steering from what I wanted to write to get a little bit of an audience. I was losing my writing voice.
Last month I was perusing Facebook and I came across a post in a Blogging Group.
Lizzi, a complete stranger, had written a beautiful post, We all need a Village
. My blogging ears perked up, this is why I started blogging; this was meant to be. It didn't take me long to ask to be part of the Group. Where I then found the post from Yvonne
. The quote that hooked me "How cool would it be if we could get 1000 bloggers on the same day to write posts about compassion, kindness, support, caring for others, non-judgement etc.?"We could call it 1000 Voices For Compassion.
It was what happened next that became the magic.
Myself still fumbling through the blogging world, feeling like a complete idiot at times, found a type of sisterhood, a village, if you will (thank you Lizzi
), in this Facebook group
. There was no question too small, the support by each and every member, phenomenal. Each of you Inspiring me to write a post for the 20th that may have been the hardest thing I have ever written, or at least posted. That becoming the magic of this bonfire, we call #1000Speak
. Thank you for giving me the courage to raise my voice, it is your Compassion that become the flame that fueled this beautiful fire.
On February 20th, as I started reading all of these gorgeous words. True to my character, I spent a few moments, not feeling good enough to be here. I began doubting myself. Then as if meant to be. I read an amazing and Inspiring comment on my blog that lead me to realize, I was here for a reason, to realize I have to practice the self-compassion in which I wrote. Mind Blown!
I have been overwhelmed with emotion by the stories I have read thus far, each and every one of them touching me in some way or another. What amazing, talented, gorgeous hearts all of you have. You will continue to Inspire me each and every day. Your words now resonate within me.
Please see the Link of all the posts here 1000Speak
Thank you to each and every one of you that participated in this Magnificent Movement it has been life changing for me. I guess that was the point! I am grateful to have made friends with many of you over the past month or so, each of you have rocked my world.
To all the people that worked their asses off to make this work. Yvonne put it best in her post If not me, then who? All of us. #1000Speak the Thank Yous
I am still shouting atop my virtual mountain #1000Speak!!!!!!!
Everyone has a story; Everyone has had pain and unbelievable hurt. It doesn't have to be the kind of pain I am writing about today. It could be that you are going through a divorce, you lost your dog, someone has passed away, you are being bullied, or that you are just plain sad. There is something behind each and every one of our eyes that deserves Compassion from the rest of us. The next time you find yourself judging someone for something they have done, remember, have you listened to their story?
I am made up many stories, all in which do not define me yet complete me. This is just one of them.
Too many children have been or are in the position of being molested in our country and all over the world
. It is a sad state of affairs. There are terrible things happening and it is that we are not teaching our boys, not to Rape, we are teaching are girls to protect themselves from Rape. #RapeIsWrong never trends on the internet, yet somehow #survivorprivilege
does. Help me out here does no one else see this as an issue?
As a little girl molested and as a teenager raped, none of that matters at the time, at the time all that matters is surviving the moment, maybe even getting out alive. Then this terrible thing happens, you have to tell the world, and sometimes the world isn't ready to listen. We have a job as a society to protect our children, and we are failing miserably
. We are reactive, not proactive, and barely proactive. Too many times women have heard things like "Are you sure", "What were you wearing", "Were you drunk?", When coming forward to report a rape. Now imagine ... if a woman fears judgement when reporting a crime, think of how a little girl must feel when coming forward. An unbearable weight put on a child's shoulders, not only by the perpetrator that has scared her into, not speaking, but society that judges when and if she does come forward. We need to have a bit more Compassion people, no child should ever be scared to report a crime. It needs to CHANGE before we let any more of our children get hurt.
So now that I have lectured you, here is my story of self-compassion:
My hands are shaking; tears are flowing, but I am going to be brave. I am going to forgive myself, and I am going to do it for, someone, I believe in with all my heart. My four-year-old self. Today I am going to be self-compassionate
. Today I am going to let a little girl forgive me for, not protecting her when she needed me the most.
After many years of hiding inside myself, I have decided to feel strong enough to come forward, to say goodbye to the sad, scared and broken little girl. Here is a letter to my 4-year-old-self.
A Letter to my 4-year-old self:
If I could say anything at all to you right now, as you are living, what might feel like hell, it would be that I promise you, it will be ok. I know you can’t see that now, and you are scared, but you are going to get through this. You may be wondering how I know this. It's because I am here right now, and I am able to write you this letter.
I want you to know; none of this is your fault. That man is not a good person, and he doesn't deserve your silence. I do know that right now you are so confused. It's hard for you to understand why everyone is acting normal around him, when you hate him so much. Right now, you have no idea how to cope or comprehend this, but one day you will. I promise you, you will be able to get through this. You will be angry at everyone for, not seeing what you see. It will cause you to crawl deeper inside yourself. Right now, it is your only protection. I am sorry you feel this way. I know it makes you feel stronger that you can cope without any help, but you are wrong. You are allowed to be vulnerable! You are just a little girl; you are allowed to be a little girl!
I know you want to go outside and play right now, but you are afraid. You are afraid he will be there, watching, waiting. He will be, and you will do what you always do. You will be strong, and you will get through it. I would like you to stop being strong. I want you to know; you aren't able to be so strong, you are too little to be this strong.
You want to scream, yet you keep it inside, you keep everything inside. I want you to let it out. It's ok to let it out. People love you, and you don't need to do this alone. I wish you knew that you don't have to do this alone. I am here, and I am sorry, that you are so scared. I am sorry that this man lives next door, and I am sorry that you don’t know what to do. I want you to feel the pain and not push it away. I want you to hear me so badly, I wish you did not have to go through this. It’s not your fault! I love you!
It will stop one day, and you won't remember how or when. I think he moves away, and you will put it all behind you. You will forget everything. I want you to remember! I want you to say something, I promise, no one will think it is your fault, I promise! I love you, and you don't have to protect yourself anymore. Let someone keep you safe, please open up and let someone in. You are going to have to see him again; you are going to spend holidays with him and his family. You need to know; it's ok to hate him. You won’t understand why because you will have pushed it all away, deep inside. Remember, you have an inner voice, and it is not wrong. Remember, that you don’t have to hug him or sit on his lap. None of this is your fault, and I love you!
You are an amazing little girl, with so much to offer. He was wrong, not you! You are so much more than how he makes you feel. You deserve to be a little girl! For every moment, he took away, please remember there will be so much more in your life! Don’t feel despair sweet girl. I can’t promise you it won’t be hard; it will! When it gets hard, please open up. Not everybody is going to hurt you like he did.
My journey to forgive myself has taught me compassion for others. I believe it sometimes takes pain and distress in life to truly see pain and distress in others. To look at the solution, not the problem and to truly feel and view things from another's perspective. We all have a story, and I am listening.
Compassion is a Movement
In 2 Days there is something wonderful happening
. Over 1000 bloggers from all over the world are going to be writing about compassion
. I am grateful to be a part of it, humbled even. Are you compassionate, do you want to live in a world full of compassion? I know I do. What is Compassion?
It is what you take from the world and turn to good. It is the moment you feel that each human possesses the right to have their story heard. It is seeing the world through other peoples eyes and not judging them. That is how you change the world, you give it a positive voice and you run with it. 1000 Voices Speak for Compassion
is just that, and we are running with it. So if you want to live in a world free of judgement and full of love, you too can join the movement. Just click on the link to join the Facebook Group or share our lovely stories so we can spread the word!
A little sneak peek ...
On February 20th I will be writing about Compassion here is a little snippet ....
There is a term that has been passed around for quite some time now. "First World Problems." I am sure you have heard of it, maybe even used it. In all honesty, I didn't think much of it until recently. I even thought it was quite clever and jumped on the bandwagon. But there is a lack of compassion in it. Can you imagine for a moment, and by imagining I mean truly put yourself in a child that has no clean drinking water shoe's, actually they most likely aren't even wearing shoes. Now walk to your sink, turn on the tap and watch that water pour out of your sink, that my friend is a luxury in many parts of the world, something to be grateful for.
Here we are the day after Valentine's Day, and I want to puke (figuratively). I am spending my usual Sunday morning, having my coffee and reading some Facebook updates from my, not so closest, friends. My issue this morning, I am inundated with all the grossly romantic pictures of the dates each of these lovely people went on last night. Oh Gawd! I am at it again, comparing my fake facebook life to everyone else's fake Facebook lives. Ok, I get it people, you had an incredible night, and I have seen the pictures, every, single, picture!
Look, I am super happy your husband bought you the exact ring you have been pining over for the last 15 years, I am! I am also pleased that you went downtown and stayed in a luxurious hotel suite, had lobster for dinner and had chocolate covered strawberries for dessert. Guess what, I didn't do that, and I am a little cynical about it. Not because I missed out on any of that, bah, who am I kidding, yes because I missed out on all of that! While you were doing those amazing things, which, by the way, I have seen in chronological order on Instagram. I was laying on my couch watching movies in my pajamas while my guy snored his way through yet another Romantic Comedy starring Jennifer Aniston.
I want just as badly to have a man that proclaims his love for me at the proverbial top of a mountain, by which I mean Facebook. I too want to share a beautifully filtered picture of roses on my Instagram account for all to see. But alas I do not have that type of man. I have the kind of guy who bought me chocolates and massage oil from the drugstore on his way home from work on February 14th. Then plopped the gifts down on the kitchen counter and said "Happy V-day Babe, now wanna give me a massage." It doesn't ever come as a shock to me, but it can be disappointing.
Yes, I am in a relationship with the least romantic man on the planet. I love this guy with all of my heart, and quite honestly know that he has always had this lack of romanticism, so I am not angry at him for that. I am in a place of understanding. I know he does many things every day to prove to me that I am the most significant person in his life. It doesn't mean I don't struggle with his lack of romance. I've had my moments, feeling deflated when in my mind I thought this will be the year he does something super special, this will be the year he blows me away.(Thank you for that Disney)
All this being said to be in a relationship with a man that adamantly tells you he is not romantic can feel like a line of bullshit sometimes. I believe Romance takes effort. Effort that shows your significant other that you are ready and willing to do things for them that remove you from your comfort zone. Romance is a state of mind, not a thing you are good or bad at in my point of view. So every year I go through the same thing. I get my hopes up and believe he will understand that I don't care about Valentine's Day but that I want to feel significant enough to have a little effort thrown my way.
I am not trying to change my guy. He is funny, sweet and an excellent provider, he is just terrible at being Romantic. Do I think he could work harder at times? Yes, I do, hey it's once a freaking year! The truth is I do want to have something special done for me. I want to feel appreciated and given the fact that Valentine's Day is a perfect opportunity to be romantic why not go ahead and put in the effort.
So each year I am left with what I like to call the Valentine's Day hangover! It is the moment I realize I have picked a guy that really wants nothing to do with Romance. So all you ladies out there with a man that puts the effort in on Valentine's Day. A man that takes time out to find you the perfect gift, please be grateful. Each time you put up the picture on Instagram of the dozen roses you have on your kitchen table. Remember me, the girl that has a guy that would prefer to give her a card that makes farting noises. I am out here and I am a little jealous of your life.
I do want and wish for a little more Romance in my life, but hey not every woman gets to spend each day with her best friend, even if he thinks it's funny to by me gag gifts on Valentine's Day
Okay, so I have a teenage boy, and he is fantastic, but he is a teenage boy! He does teenage boy things, some of which drive me crazy. I know I am lucky he is a respectful, kind young man, but I find myself wanting to shake the teen angst right out of him! These are only six things that drive me nuts when it comes to my teenager.
6 Things that my teenage boy does to drive me crazy
1) The Waking of the Beast
Each morning around 6:30am I hear two sounds from my 15-year-old son's bedroom. First is the piercing sound of his alarm. You all know the one, it sounds as though there is a large cruise ship coming through the walls of my bedroom. An unpleasant way to be reminded it is now time to get up and do it all, over, again. But we have come to agree it to be the only one that will get his ass out of bed.
The second sound is animal-like, a type of moan I am sure only the other teenagers understand. Like nails on a chalkboard, he moans his way to the bathroom. I am just grateful that the running water of the shower drowns out his apparent hatred for morning and the cries that accompany it. "We get it Dude; you don't like mornings." His reply ... a grunt and moan.
2) Feeding the animal
The shitstorm of making his lunch. Look, he is 15 and has been making his lunch for quite some time. Somehow he has not figured out that peanut butter is sticky, butter is greasy, toast is crummy, and the milk needs to go back in the fridge. I get it I enable him; I always clean it up after, judge away. I am still a Mom.
3) The Adventures of all Misplaced Objects
Is it that his brain is too full of teenage stuff to remember where he has put anything? I believe I have spent over 4000 hours in the last two years looking for items that he has said he put right here. My absolute favorite being the large bag he calls his backpack. I like to call it the bag of moldy lunches. We usually find this one by smell alone.
4) The Empty Container Syndrome
My son has an amazing talent, for Putting empty containers back in the fridge. Whether it be the milk carton, juice jug or ketchup bottle. If he could get a job at this, he would be an employee of the month. I have even found empty sandwich bags in my fridge! Did he, take out whatever was in the bag and think, yup, there is a crumb in there, it must be refrigerated!
5) After School Hurricane of Hell
Every day it is the same, a trail of all things that my son once had on his person. From shoes that have been perfectly placed for me to trip on to folded up papers that I am not sure have any purpose. He can usually make a mess within 5 minutes. It can take the joy out of seeing him after his day at school.
6) The Lack of Garbage Can Use
Wrappers!!!! Wrappers, all over the house! These are the bain of my existence. My son has become a hoarder of sorts when it comes to these things. You know the wrappers on granola bars, or even sandwich bags in which he has used for his lunch. I recently found over 15 of these tucked into his bed. This number does not include the many I have picked up, or asked him to pick up throughout the rest of the house. I will be clear; we do have garbage cans!
Ok, so there you have it, some things that make me want to pull my hair out when it comes to my teenage son. I feel very lucky everyday to have a son that loves and respects me. I still get kisses on the cheek and hugs goodbye! So I am not complaining too much, I promise!
If you haven't ever noticed the mad scramble of men standing in line with greeting cards and chocolates at the grocery store on February 14th, then you probably don't get out much. The mad rush of buying flowers at roadside stands and chocolates at the Drugstore is not the meaning of Valentine's Day. We all know that, right?
Okay, okay, some of you will say, he should have planned it better, he should have found something romantic, it is not as if he didn't know it was coming. All splendid points, yet we are all aware of how men work. At least I know how mine does, and it doesn't usually include romantic gestures, which have a lot of thought put into them. Unless, of course, if farting and saying excuse me is romantic. So the gist of it all is, I feel I need to say sorry to my guy for few pressures I have put on him on this so-called day of love.
These are my 10 apologies to my Husband about Valentine's Day:
10 Things I apologized to my Husband for about Valentines day
1) I regret that I told you I don't like flowers, they just die. I love flowers, especially roses, no matter how cliche they may be. So it, honestly, wasn't your fault when you brought me home a Ficus that year.
2) I should have been honest with you about my feelings for Valentine's Day. No, I am not a fan, but I also don't want to feel left out. I mean, really, if I have to look at one more Facebook picture of fabulous roses, I may shoot myself.
3) I am sorry I told you I was fine with doing nothing on Valentine's Day because all of the restaurants would be packed and overpriced. When what I meant was book a restaurant and take me out. I want to get dressed up and feel special.
4) I am sorry that you had to spend your day's wage on flowers. Because ... Well, because you are a man, and you leave everything to the last minute.
5) I am sorry; I got upset when you gave me that card that made farting noises, let's be honest you thought it was hilarious, and that's kinda why I fell in love with you.
6) I am sorry that I compared my V-Day to the other couple's on Facebook. We have been together ten years, and they just started dating. I get it now; you don't think you need to impress me anymore. Hence the card that made farting noises.
7) I am sorry that I told you I don't like jewelry. ( I am not a fan of it but, COME ON!)
8) I should never have told you, when we first started dating, that it's ok if you play video games all the time. The disclaimer should have read, not on Valentine's Day, My Birthday, Christmas ... you know, any holiday or when we are having a dinner party!
9) I am sorry that I made you steak, lobster, and all the gross seafood in the world, ( no I don't like things from the water ) one Valentine's day. Only to hear, what did you do all day?
10) I am sorry that you feel you HAVE TO do anything on Valentine's Day. I would much prefer you WANT TO.
Ok, so all joking aside, everyone wants to feel special, especially women ( get it guys ). Just remember one thing, this wasn't meant to be a money grab, but a day of love, put it all into perspective. Happy V-Day to you all!
Sometimes I am overwhelmed, tired of being a Mom, Wife, Sister, Friend or even just me. Those are hard words to spit out, let alone to blog out to the world, yet I felt I needed to say it. It isn't as though I call a box my home or panhandle to make end meets because I don't and honestly have never had to (thank God). Never the less, I have had some dark times but I have never found myself treating any human differently because of their current situation. Don't get me wrong, people make bad decisions, and those decisions can cause bad things to happen, but who are we to judge? We have not spent every waking moment in that person's shoes. And this is where the Word Compassion comes in, where it becomes a verb; an action word, a word that can change the world. A Word and an action that can change the way we act towards others, are yah in? Want to help me change the world? Here are 10 Ways to create a world you love to live in by using Compassion.
1) Stop Judging!!!!
You can't possibly love the world you live in if you are judging everyone else; it is downright impossible. Look, I don't care if you somehow feel that you are above the rest of the population (you are not). You can't find love in your heart if you are condemning everyone else for their actions.
2) Enjoy the moment.
Take each moment as it comes, stop worrying about the mistakes you have made in the past, you can't possibly change them now. Stop looking into the future as if it is some looming threat, it is not, it is your time to take what you want, what you need and bring it to fruition. You are the only one that decides what happens next. Make your day worth waking up for, believe in yourself, and you are golden!
3) Believe in Others
I know ... you thought I was going to say you should believe in yourself, and don't worry I will, it's comin'! Until then I will tell you why you need to believe in others, maybe not before oneself but still just as important! Without affirmation, us Humans, we kinda suck. We love being told we have done an excellent job, we are pretty; we are fantastic parents, Gah I love being told I am good at almost anything. I think, you get the point! Without believing that people are there for us, it 's hard to believe in ourselves. Hold the Phone!!! I am not saying that we need other people to be happy, yet that we should believe in the people that make us happy, you pickin up what I am throwin' down? OK, to reiterate; thinking the human race as good, not evil, keeps us believing in others. It brings us together as a race, the Human one! Geez, I may have confused myself there.
4) Treat everyone as you would want to be treated.
Find a moment in each conversation that brings you to an awareness of the other person. See their sadness, happiness, angst or whatever it happens to be, see it, feel it! Believe in them, try and find out what they mean, feel them and then let them in your heart as if it was yours. You will then treat them as if it is the way you want to be treated; you won't have a choice. You will own that moment; you will start understanding them the way you know yourself. That is when you will treat a person with the same respect as you have for yourself.
5) Respect and love yourself
Create some Compassion for yourself. Find the strength in what you are good at, and be ok with what you are not, yet never give up. Do not put yourself down, but own what you may have done wrong. You are your biggest cheerleader, no one else can own that role more than yourself. If you find compassion for you, you will find compassion in others. Respecting yourself, while needing approval is a daunting task, but we are all in the same boat. We are all flooded with the same negativity and propaganda. So be strong believe in the human race, and we can win this war, with Compassion.
30 Reasons Moms Drink Wine
Have you noticed all the Moms on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Social Media sites alike sharing their pictures of wine in their glass? Even better, their half full ( because I like to keep things positive ) bottle on the counter after a long hard day. If you haven't, it may be because you were knee deep in your very own bottle. I don't necessarily believe you have to be a Mom to indulge, but I have noticed a direct correlation between the two. Could it possibly be the beautiful moment you have right after you hear the cork pop from the bottle, which sets you free? I know it has been for me. That sound is like the sound of 2 quiet children asleep in their beds, euphoric.
30 Reasons Moms Drink Wine: A list of Musings, not in order of importance!
1) You woke up at 5am to get ready for work, make lunches and sign school forms while your husband slept.
2) You worked your ass off cleaning the house, and no one noticed.
3) You did ten loads of laundry, folded, and put away, while the rest of your family watched Netflix.
4) You cooked an incredible meal that each child picked through while your husband added salt and ketchup.
5) You stepped on Lego, for the 15th time, before 10am.
6) You spent the entire afternoon speaking to your child's Teacher.
7) You don't like your child's teacher.
8) You woke up super early to take your child to Hockey Practice while your husband slept, then went to work and still had to make dinner when you got home.
9) You found three unfinished Homework assignments in your son's backpack, two days after spending an afternoon with his teacher.
10) You spent the whole Sunday at Crash Crawly's, Go Bananas, The Great Adventure or some play place the like ( with 20 other kids in your group )
11) You miss being 20.
12) You went running to decompress, but your whole family texted you to find out when you would be home.
13) You received a call from your best girlfriend, and she needed some advice.
14) You are eating Cheese.
15) Your Teenage daughter has started her period.
16) Your toddler found all your tampons and put them in the toilet.
17) You tried to help your teenage kids with their homework, and you didn't understand a word of it. (so much for that University Education)
18) You deserve it.
19) Your Toddler decided that they were going to sharpie their entire forearm.
20) You finally bought a beautiful pair of boots, and your child let your dog have them as a chew toy.
21) You love the taste of Red Wine.
22) You like the taste of White Wine.
23) You haven't been able to have a shower by yourself since before the birth of your children.
24) You haven't worn make-up in over a month.
25) You haven't read a book that did not include some sort of parenting advice in years.
26) You invited 20 of your daughter's closest friends over for her birthday, and you finally saw the aftermath of her room.
27) Your Husband told you that he thought it would be nice if you could find some more time to clean out the garage before he gets home.
28) Your Husband works six days a week and plays sports five nights.
29) You went to the grocery store wearing your pajamas and ran into your high school boyfriend.
30) You are allowed to have a glass of wine because you are an adult!
I want to bring to light a little thing I have heard about an "EPIDEMIC" that may be rising. I recently read this post (http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/wine-and-moms-an-epidemic/
) and do not particularity disagree but....
People seem to be very concerned that Women, Moms especially, are consuming too much alcohol. Whether or not this is the case, I do think we need to bring to light that there has never been a worry over the amount of alcohol Fathers are drinking. No "Epidemics" to this date anyway. I have not in my lifetime heard that a man should not come home, unwind and have a glass of Beer or two. They are encouraged to have a bottle of beer, whiskey or whatever. So please don't chastise us women for wanting the same respect. We are allowed to enjoy a glass of wine or two, even a beer if we wish.
***I just want to address one thing before I publish this post. That being, that I understand alcoholism to be a debilitating disease. I am not attempting to make light of others situations.***